It’s the longest day of the year, and I’m not particularly interested in writing a long discourse on feelings and junk. Instead, I’m posting some items that I’ve found interesting over these last few weeks. But first,

a few words about Facebook.

I’m an early adopter. I love trying new things—especially new tools and technologies—and social media is no exception (my Twitter number is under a half-million, klout score of 37-45.) With that said, I’m very conflicted about Facebook. From the moment I joined, I checked-in constantly, several times a day. I love seeing what my friends are doing, and I love the interaction that Facebook provides. I feel like it’s more important as I get older, and real face-to-face interaction with my far-flung friends becomes ever more difficult/impossible.

Yet, over the last few weeks or months, I haven’t enjoyed being part of the Facebook community. Checking-in felt like a chore. Meditating on it, I realized that my problem is that so many of my friends are suffering. The Buddha admonished his students not to turn their face from the suffering of the world, but it’s painful for me to watch people struggle (maybe more so, since there are still so many things I’m struggling to work through.)

So I took a break from Facebook. I haven’t visited in almost two weeks (and then, only to reply to direct messages.) The first thing I realized was just how often I was visiting (a lot.) After a few days, I felt happier, like a burden had lifted. But after a week I began missing my friends. I still haven’t really come back to Facebook, but the time is nigh. There’s a twenty-year reunion I need to finalize, and like it or not, Facebook has become a part of my life.

I haven’t come to terms with how to help my friends. There are people whose relationship with their hardship seems so familiar that it feels comfortable to them. (To those souls I say, ask yourself the difference between comfort and familiarity.) I’m not interested in poking my nose into people’s business. This blog was established primarily to help me, but maybe it can help others too. Still, if you’re one of my friends who are suffering (and we are all suffering to one extent or another) please know that it doesn’t have to be that way.

See you on Facebook, I guess.

Why is friendship so painful?

Good advice from Salon. I think it clearly explains how many of us become so protective of our friendships. I’ve arrived at a different conclusion from the author because my perspective is a Buddhist one.

Nice Quotes

Thich Nhat Hanh

“The Buddha observed, ‘The person who suffers most in this world is the person who has many wrong perceptions, and most of our perceptions are erroneous.’ You see a snake in the dark and you panic, but when your friend shines a light on it, you see that it is only a rope.”

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

Garry Shandling

“You can’t win a welterweight belt for beating the shit out of yourself.”

Laurell K. Hamilton

“There comes a point when you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. It just means you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it.”

I like that quote, but I don’t entirely agree with it. I think Robina Courtin said it best: “Love is recognizing the happiness of another.” It’s as simple as that.

The people who want to stay in your life will always find a way.

people.jpg (my edit)
(Original Image @ witsendnj.blogspot.com)